www.JailMail.net
Jeff Conner 
Empty mailboxes annoying? Surrounded by joy censors, trust abusers and hollow passion? Find yourself scraping for conversation? Have I got something for you.
Alright, here's the deal: for starters, I'll offer you compassionate friendship. As an incentive for you to act now I'll throw in extras like amusing anecdotal exchange, sly, silly humor, honest emotional empathy, uncensored thought swapping and generous time sharing all free with your order.
But that's not all! For an unlimited time receive chemistry compatibility trials, and upon mutual qualification satisfaction, get future options on intimacy beyond friendship, including, but not limited to: energetic passion, literary foreplay and love, simple love at no extra charge. Satisfaction guaranteed. If at any time you choose not to exercise your intimacy options the lifetime supply of friendship is yours to keep.
So, interested in chatting comically? Feeding friendship? Comparing choices? Trust development? Frustration venting? Trading favorites? Cornball cheesiness? And overworking mailmen? Call now! Operators are standing by.
Small print: offer valid in all states except residents of Heartbreak point, Back-Up Planville, and Insincere City.
There is nothing better than being self-sufficient, except all other options.
Summation: sometimes serious, sometimes silly sentimental sanguine scholar seeks similar same.
Address: Jeff Conner #757788
MCC-WSR D-1-11
PO Box 777
Monroe, WA 98272-0777
Birthdate: June 13/1973
Expected Date of Release: 2014 
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