www.JailMail.net


Someone who changes your life simply by being a part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop
Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there is an unlocked door just waiting for
you to open it.
This is forever friendship
And friendship has no end.

We'll date at romantic settings.
I'll accept differences.
I'll be polite and gentle.
I'll give gifts, smile often, touch,
And talk about dreams.
I'll listen, encourage, know your needs,
Slow down, hold hands and cuddle.
I'll end the day with a hug,
And frequently say "I love you".
These things and so many more
Are what I'll do for you.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company,
And it doesn't mean security.
You begin to lean that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,
And you accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
With the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you build all your roads on today because you never know what will
happen tomorrow.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
And you learn to plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And after a while you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.

I will search the world using my soul and heart to lead me to my blessing, my angel created by God especially for me. I will know the signs when our eyes meet then I will promise no lie and speak from the depths of my soul words of passion collected from the beauty I see, and something that I never knew lived inside me.
I had written your name in my heart never to depart. We kiss and tears begin to fall, I wipe yours away and tell you to save them for our wedding day; now as I lay next to you watching you sleep with a smile on my face seeing you in peace I close my eyes and once again the c/o wakes me up out of my sleep.
Always, Tony
Thank you for reading my Hopes And Wishes...

evolving quietly during life's painful procession,
a calm, dignified approach to Spirit.
While resolute in the stillness
transcend growth's pain
seeing, beyond dark illusions, the Light.

What you call it
or, if you call it?
is up to you.
It's bigger than money
Tis you own choice
What it is?
is just the source.
Why, it's love of course!
it's most definitely a benefit
Love, I do endorse
Compassion, will never quit.
We can all rejoice
Everything, can be funny
Rainy days, turn sunny
Love's the only choice
The Force of the Universe
This is reality, song & verse
Gets rid of issues
I know is true
The Force, gives life a-new
Yes, we all heal
just have a blast
Soon you will see
The way, it's gotta be
The Force is for real
It can happen fast
The Force, definitely lasts
Like a blast from the past.
So, how do you feel,
Is this a discovery?
The way it used to be!
It's a great life
That's for sure,
Forget that fuss & strife,
Now you know you have the capacity,
To live life totally,
Now, we know the cure.
The Force does insure
This is the reality
& you do have the authority
The Force is yours.

life,
Desolated full of strife. . .
I know life is precious, hard as well,
I struggle through the minutes, days and
years alone, a true hell.
No letters, visitors, or friends,
makes my art suffer, ink runs dry in my pen.
If you are reading this poem, looking at
my art,
I hope you can see, and feel the
clouds and storms in my heart.

something that can't be replaced
Leaving me with nothing
but a long and sad face
The inner joy it represented
nowhere to be found
How did I lose those feelings
that make the merry go round
Once I was filled with happiness
now just pain and sorrow
If only I could see this coming
in yesterdays tomorrow
And so I confront my future
the lonely years ahead
with a constant frown upon me
I wish I had my smile instead.

Waking up to the sound of bells.
Like making a long strenuous journey,
With your mind being trapped in hell.
Living amongst sanctions,
that are meant to weaken your soul.
Like living an incomplete life,
with no chance of fulfilling the holes.
Living life as a number,
thus destroying all of your credentials.
Equivalent to living a failed life,
that was so full of potential.
Living a life full of regrets,
certainly that which I endure
Like being infected with a mortal disease,
for which there is no cure.
Living a life absent of light,
like being trapped in an abyss.
And making it out of this place alive,
remains my biggest wish.

such a supple soul.
Weighed down by pressure,
but yet it would not fold.
A life that fought restraint,
to maintain in this world.
Pressure increased upon this soul,
until it finally started to curl.
A life with a broken spirit,
and nowhere to turn.
Torched by a continuous force,
thus left alone to burn.
A life that has survived,
the essence of defeat.
Through the legs of a soulja
stand again on his feet.
A life that refuses to lose,
such a supple soul.
At times he may bend
but never will he fold.

with such a beautiful theme.
Yesterday you were a princess,
today you are a queen.
Always there for me,
never absent at my side.
One keeper of my secrets,
One diary in which I confide.
Cherish and protect
O how you love me.
Especially when I was growing up,
And needed your eyes to see.
Every day is Mother's Day,
your love is always near.
As long as I have your love,
There is nothing that I fear.
A very honorable day,
with such a beautiful theme.
Yesterday you were a princess,
today you are a queen.

Is it when judges with hearts of stone, and ears that only hear the cries for justice sentence a convict to life in prison? Could it be when he sees the jury's eyes full of hatred burning through his flesh? Or when he hears those searing words "never forgiven" coarse through his soul? How is a convict to know what love is unless he learns it from you? There are many ways a convict can learn to love. Many ways that are overlooked because it takes an amount of sacrifice so many of you are not willing to bear. As with all things in life, love is learned by example! Sometimes it's a letter of hope sent to a lonely spirit-broken man serving time. It could be a visit on a sunny weekend afternoon. Sometimes it's a few dollars so he can shop at the prison canteen. That will make him feel loved and cared about. Sometimes pictures taken in the free world will remind him of what life was meant to be. Love is sharing life and all it's potential. This is a convict sharing love with you.

I love you more than life itself.
I will build your dreams with my 2 hands.
I will do everything in my power to make your dreams come true.
I will give you everything I can.
So we can put memories on the walls.
I will never let anyone get away with hurting you in any way shape or form.
For better or worse.
Till death do us part.
I will love you with every beat of my heart.
I will care about you this way for the rest of my life.
No one will ever change the way I feel about you.
And I mean this from the bottom of my heart!!!

Hanging here.
It's too dark to see the spark
Of courageous motivation
And it's too cold to feel
The warm urge to epic deeds.
The suffering that stalks unchallenged
In these walls
Is much too young to conquer and
Too old to depart in ease.

In your space
And share your universe
With you
Pass the hours in an
Interchange
A moment of deep friendship
In life's short time span
May I linger with you
In your mind
In your innermost
Feelings
In that special place
Where others may touch
But a friend remains


soft spiritual hums,
humming mentally.
Comparing similarities...
contrasting different squeezes,
20 seconds - now sunrise in my dreams.
Ocean sea breeze...
Seductive, but beautiful - I breathe,
Dreamlike qualities - escape my dreams and fantasies.
When I hug you...
Blood rushes and heart skip beats,
no worries - hugging my angel, my heaven.
I tingle - when I hug you...
My soul stepped sideways, stood 3 feet away,
gazed, dazed and unamazed - it's all so lovely!
Only when I hug you...
Shivers, quivers, knees harlem shaking,
when your lips - kiss and caress my neck...
Differences in past relationships...
Made all your hugs you gave me different...
The waterfall sparkle hypnotized it.
My heart, my soul, my differences - I wonna
love you with all kisses.
Only when I hug you.

And dream this all away,
Undo the need for lovelorn cries
That often seem to say,
“Why must you go away from me?”
“Why can’t you stay right here?”
“Why does life always seem to be
So accursedly unfair?”
Yet I can see the truth of things,
And I wish that I was blind,
Forever unaware of all the things
I’ll never be able to find,
Garnering, at least, a bit of solace,
If not outright hope,
From going, ignorant of what I’ve lost
To the end of the hangman’s rope

Was a dream to call my own,
Something to hold onto
As my whole world came undone,
A place that only I knew
Where I could hide my heart
Where it could rest in safety
While my whole world came apart
A feeling with no boundaries,
No regrets, lasting forever,
Surviving the cruel end when
The world split our together,
And forced this naďve little boy
To see the world for what it is:
A collage of mankind’s fragile dreams,
And none of them are his.

And a kitten loves catnip
As a parent loves its children
And a mouth must love each lip
As a garden loves each petal
And a forest loves each tree,
As an eagle loves to be in flight,
And a dolphin loves the sea;
As powerful as all the loves above,
And infinitely stronger still,
From his boundless heart
To your eternal soul,
God loves you and forever will.

the future is what I see
though it is unclear
I see light chasing away the shadows
Anger derives from an empty soul
The dream of life
to fill the void with love
It gives us hope

Rising up to fill the air
The dawn of a new day beginning
the heat of summer flares
like the unbridled passions of true love
Burning like a flame of desire
Unquenchable in its lust

the lessons in life too late
in an uncompassionate and troubled world
few make survival worthwhile
In a society that thrives on hatred and judgment
I strive to protect my own
and preserve love.

but we can gather up
its lessons, and move on
stronger and wiser.
We can't control the future
but we can send our dreams
ahead of us,
to help prepare the way.
We can live each moment
heart and soul.
And cherish these days
greatest gift...
the gift of now.
May peace with the past
and faith in the future,
gently guide you
through each precious
moment of today...


The waters of my life,
Flow over others,
Like a stream,
Over a bed of stones.

Broken and patched holes,
That I have come to know as my eyes.

Is it the destination that matters?
Or the path we take to reach this destination?

The music, so pure it coursed through my veins
Brought forth tears; emotions came alive – some haven’t been in many a year
Mysteriously the words heightened my mind!
Your enchanged lyrics pierce my body – shattered my soul
stolen heart beats taken from within
Dreams live forever in one’s eye
Even after the silent tears fall
We wash away the sadness – and try to forgive them
slowly we forget! (the pain still bears a scar)
spiritually we seek the questions who shall hold the answers
A path of many decisions – lots of different directions
when in fact we stay lost
Ancient prophets preach about up coming revelations
Doomed to awake in our salvation
confused by the light, I’m blinded in a mystical
state of darkness
Will I ever find my way out of this maze?
I’ve been walking for days
when after – I sleep there
Always a new day

And it would all be over
What are these feelings trapped up in my head
Am I better off dead
Need a lot of faith to live in this world of hate
I chose my weapons wisely keep it inside me
Now I’m seeking the answers to the questions
They can not be answered!
I heard the preacher say turn to the book of revelations
So he could teach us about our salvation
False prophecies of a sick-minded catholic priest
Who pray on the innocent
I sit and pray – that it will cease!
Look around my friend there’s money to fight fake
wars; but not enough to feed the poor
I said it once – I’ve said it before,
I wish this was a dream, and I could wake up
And it would be all over

And to my surprise this is what I found
Kids moving in all directions, glow sticks in the
hands of the ones dancing
They were decked out in baggy clothing, backpacks they
wear, sporting a sub fashion, visor-hats, upside down
loud techno was being spun – from a life DJ
turntables produced upbeat house music, mixing
cutting and remixed on a new level
The only people who understood it were the
Ones down with cyber culture
In the bathroom kids refilled their water bottles
poured water over their heads to keep from
dehydration. Their eyes big from the flow
of serotonin. Must have started from this little white diamonds
But besides the drugs, there was a strong vibe of love
and happiness all around. The music held me in a
”trance” as I danced and danced
The lights came on – everybody had to go home
I was still hyped from the last song
At dawn we watched the sun come up
over the river
the sight was transcendent
”The Rave was Over”

Today I saw a balloon glistening in the suns rays, gently floating above the prison fence of chain link, razor wire. Sitting in my cage, I glimpsed the fleeting rainbow colors of fire and freedom through my bar covered windowpanes. It was a bright balloon of many colors with a three foot string entwined with cellophane. I do not know what made me look out at that point in time, normally the view of freedom is too painful for more than a few moments in this dark world of mine. The sight of the floating balloon, drifting freely in the wind, as if waiting for me, warmed my anguished soul, carrying me back to another time. I pondered faded memories of younger days, lost dear one's faces, far off places. Was it an omen, I wondered, with thoughts of memories aged as I sat entombed in my cage, or visions of freedom awaken because the balloon had achieved its release from the grasp of its previous ruler. Whatever it was, whatever it meant, for a brief time, past memories once faded were alive, the despair was gone, for a fleeting moment in time, I too, like the balloon was free.

As I begin this ritual, tears flow from this pen, washing up tombstones of children who disappear and reappear as ghosts being chased by demons crushing cheap wine bottles into buckled sidewalks or kicking beer cans as if they were trying to make the streets bleed.
Silhouettes slip from vacant houses that reek of piss and poverty that are used as outhouses from skeletons that survive on dope, or by misfits with little hope; so they ditch school and use them as hotel rooms.
Pain surrounds me like red tape, that tangles up funds to educate, or a rented coffin that contains the remains of another broken promise to a child with missing teeth.
I continue to dig with this pen through the carnage of the ghetto twisted in a heap of sex and welfare checks, brittle bones and broken homes.
So now like others injured, I seek rest after trying to decipher the past that floats like ghosts when I pick at the scabs of old wounds.

we have lost them both.
There were good times and bad times,
happy days and sad days,
but we survived them all.
We climbed over walls,
we lifted each other so no one would fall.
We've walked through the years
stepping on enemies.
The tunnel is dark,
but up ahead is a glowing spark,
once we get there
it will brighten our brittle hearts.
We will conquer the darkness,
just to reach the light,
we will survive the worse,
with all our soul and might.
We have survived,
we will continue to survive
just to find love and happiness
for the rest of our lives.

cars go up and down your street, and some might even catch your eye.
The Sun is out, not a cloud in the sky, and this is a very hot day,
as you sit on the porch drinking Ice Tea, or Cool-Aid in the shade.
There are children playing in the grass, or maybe in the street,
their cries of delight will find your smile,
because the past does seem to repeat.
People are working in their Gardens, on the Hedges,
or maybe just cutting the grass,
this gives the entire street some lived in class.
You hear some music in the air, and remember that favorite song,
and after rising very slowly, you buy every kid a cone,
then you make your way very slowly back to the porch and home.
The Sun is slowly setting on this very peaceful day,
and you make a silent wish, for all days to end this way.

The happy hypocrite inspired desire.
His tv morals: a joke in bad taste.
After bitten nails and paced floors,
Boredom naps and self-deconstruction:
Forever at fault for the temptation remains.
The yes man snaps: F dash dash dash 'em.
No need to overexplain or slow it down.
Saying and doing the opposite of right and polite.
Peak and crash, into the excess.
Deciding motives, the sub-par hero
Disintegrates back into collapsing confusion.
Dancing on eggshells: tragically attractive.
Overwhelming emptiness: nothing and everything.
Walls of protection: rising in between.
Effective cause: broken heart disease.
Tarred and fettered, living for secrets.
Hiding from the future in the present prolonged.
I am no longer just that moment in time,
The me I used to be: dirty, dusty, ugly.
Wasting opportunities generously, ergo: hero.
So many memories I want to burn
Decidedly simplistic idea.
At first breath I earned my guilt.
Swallow hard this bitter stuff of reality.
Stop hiding in every form of entertainment.
You've yet to begin your propensity for verbosity.
Emperor of empathy, epitome of positivity,
Intrusive authors quote your quirks.
Morality tainted memories, prime-time profanity,
Deathless drama: flair for the anti-climactic.
Forced attrition with a veneer sneer,
Like a poem from someone you know.
Stealing memories, seeing the world in a fuzzy grey.
Atmospheric attitudes from the son of the promise king.
The comedian laughing at the other shoe.
Obscure references, languid dreams
Polishing perfection: too modest to be meek.
Wrath of least resistance, shines and clangs on.
The powers that be absent still flexing their authority
Rest on laurels that haven't sprouted yet.
Good bye private joy, looking forward to going back.
The perfectly crafted sentence: almost one.
Ah, the quote I've been looking for.

Sitting in a sacred place means you must sit alone. There are times when we each have sacred blessings to learn. These are the lessons that will push us to the limit of our greatness. At these times, it may seem that others are abandoning, rejecting or criticizing us without just cause. They are not. No matter how hard we try, we can't seem to do, say or be what others expect of us. We can't. The harder we try to pull others to us, the farther they move away. The more we try to fix things, the worse they seem to get. What we must do at these very sacred times is pull back, withdraw and prepare to grow. Our lessons are very sacred. They are the basic ingredient of our greatness. TO accept them we must be open. To receive them we must be willing to understand. To understand them we must be alone. I'm sitting in a sacred place.



I am a person with whom you dare to be yourself.
your soul can be naked with me,
I won't ask you to put on anything,
only be what you are.
I don 1t want you to be better- or worse-
only for better -or- worse.
you do not have to be on your guard.
you can say what you think,
so as long as it's genuinely you.
I understand those contradictions in your nature-
they lead others to misjudge you.
with me you can breathe freely.
you can avow your little vanities -and-
envies -and-
hates -and-
vicious sparks-
your meannesses -and-
absurdities- and-
in opening them up to me they are lost,
dissolved on the white ocean of my loyalty.
I understand. you do not have to be careful.
you can abuse me, neglect me, tolerate me,
best of all,
you can keep still with me.
it makes no matter. I like you.
I like the fire that purges to the bone.
I understand... I.... understand.
you can cry with me,
sin with me,
laugh with me,
pray with me.
through it all,
I understand,
because
-this--
is
who I am.

Superstarvinsongs - July 25, 2003
he's short and squatty, kind of looks like a toad
he dresses real funny in his pin-striped suits
wide flowered ties and white cowboy boots
when the children play near his home in the street
he yells at them and waves his cane so artfully
you would think he was a conductor waving a wand
to get all the musicians to willfully respond
no one knows why he yells and rants and raves
we all laughed at him running away shouting names
like frog-face, or meanie or just grumpy old man
this has gone on for years, I don't know when it began
he was there when I was growing up on his porch yelling
just like now in the same clothes and the same rebelling
children are taunting, always getting in the last word
I bet you had one too, a wicked old man who yelled to be heard
every street has to have a mean old person to goad
there's a wicked old man who lives up the road.

Let me be at peace with my dreams,
I'm making love and traveling,
I'm the hero in this scene.
Don't wake me up-I'm ducking time,
The light inside's enough,
Let me stay with my mask off,
Than fake a game of tough.
Don't wake me up- I'm lonely out there,
I see no friends to gain,
No smiles -no family,
I know there's only pain.
Don't wake me up - I'm so happy here,
I get to feel my home,
But when I come around,
Everybody just leaves me alone.

If it wasn't for me,
By far--A pretty star. I'm sure,
So much more,
A strong beloved heart.
If I wasn't so dumb,
Who would you become,
Maybe one to change a life,
You're in my mind,
All the time,
Why did I steal your light?
I'm doing my best,
For you no less,
I can't bring you back,
But I'll try,
Before I die,
At least to get myself on track.
I bid you trust,
I'm living for both of us,
But I always come up short, Maybe I'll pan,
Become a better man,
I owe your higher court.

Too quiet and damp,
Remembering another lonely year,
I'm confused, crowded, and cramped.
In the spring there are no flowers
bloomed,
Only showers day and night,
Waking up to daily doomed,
And concrete blocking light.
Summer is the hardest sound,
Hotter than humid hands,
Few friends are found,
The cell door loudly slammed.
At fall it is gray,
Colors never pass,
As a kid that wants to play,
I can't escape my past.
But as the seasons change and flow,
I hope to live in time,
One day they have to let me go,
Then I'll retrieve the smile that's mine.

You used to call me friend,
Called you years ago,
You hung-up on me again.
I wrote you letters,
Not a word ever came,
I wonder if the past,
Is a waste to ever claim.
It's ok - I forgive you,
But I can't say I'll forget,
I'm letting you know it hurts me,
To say we ever met.
As part of my life,
You almost made me cry,
I'd give you another chance when home,
But I think I'll pass you by.
I hope for some new confidants,
Maybe more and less like you,
A future without betrayals,
But friends tried and true.

Going in young, coming out grey
Dim light at the end of eternity
A stab at a never-ending journey
Snuff out the flame to end my pains
No more light to hate,
only medications that stimulate
Going day-by-day the A.A. way
Feelin' Bill Murray on a Ground Hog Day
Clouds roll in, I feel the rain
Another day, I can not take this pain
Clouds roll on, and the rain subsides
The light grows bright deep inside
Clock face numbers and hands take flight
No more pain, no more fright
Take the fork, forget the plate
Went in young, coming out great!

That time of year
The holiday season
A time of cheer.
Bright shades of green
Deep tints of red
And memories of you
Dance through my head.
Kisses under the mistletoe
Having some tinsel on the tree
Bake some Christmas cookies
Save a few for me.
Though this Christmas is different
However, I fear
It glows another color
One of sadness, my dear
For I'll be spending my Christmas
Alone… without you
So the color of my Christmas
Is a dark Christmas Blue.

For my so long wasted life,
Endured, despite lonely consequences,
No children and no wife,
Faced a future torn apart
By the man whom I had been,
Felt the bleeding of my broken heart,
Knowing someday I'd be betrayed again,
Never asked someone to give
What I wouldn't give in turn,
I often didn't want to live,
For escape I would always yearn;
But here I am at thirty,
Young in body, old in soul,
With new-found faith that I can be
Whatever I set as my goal,
Certain, when all is said and done,
God's blessings in each new day --
With earnest prayer in the name of His Son,
The Lord will help me find my way;
Thus, next time that I leave this place,
Walking out the gate a free man,
Having, through faith, God's precious grace,
And hope in His divine plan,
I'll face each day confident
The Lord will get me through,
That my spirit, once so badly bent,
By His will has been forged a new,
That my life, so long wasted,
Doesn't have to stay that way,
If only I share the joy that I've tasted,
By His grace, each and every day.

a spirit of some lost and ancient race.
A mind that is, thought that'll always be,
with vision and sight no eyes can see. . .
Not sinner, but sin, a truth to profess,
somewhere and existential wilderness.
abstract subject, irresistible force,
traveling, guided on divine course. . .
With spirit, life, flesh and bone,
a spiritual nomad, hurrying home.
Are there truly others like me?
mail answers occupant, purgatory.
at Wisc. Secure Program Facility. . .

you receive a letter from a lonely man.
He told you a little about himself and why he's here,
you responded by telling him your likes and things you fear.
You both hit it off really well,
and he's so happy when he receives your mail.
You and him exchange photos over time,
and at all hours you're on his mind.
You two bond and become good friends,
and on Valentine's Day he gives you a kiss.
You're so happy as can be,
his letters are what you like to read.
You come to visit him when it's hot and cold,
you're the one that he loves to hold.
You never thought it could be this good,
but now you realize that it could.
No matter how close or how far,
you're his shinning star.
So when times get ruff don't fall,
just remember you're his all.
Jail Mail made this all possible for you,
just to see you happy and make your dreams come true!

completely, love is the most fulfilling and beautiful
feeling in the world
Don't be afraid that you will get hurt
or that the other person won't love you as much
there is a risk in everything you do and the rewards
are as never as great as what love can bring
so let yourself get involved completely and honestly
and enjoy the possibility that what happens might
be the only real source of happiness.

but to know myself takes strength, to manage
other people lives takes strength but to manage my
own life takes power. If I am happy with what
I have, I can live simply and enjoy prosperity
and free time if my goals are clear, I can achieve
them without worry if I am at peace with myself
I will not spend my life in conflicts.
If I have learned to let go, I do not need
to fear...

that I could make every dream in your
heart come true but I don't have to wish
for my own dreams all my dreams come true
when your love, comes into my life.

It isn't given by any pledge, it isn't written on
any paper but friendship is a promise that is
renewed every time two friends meet and smile and
enjoy the good times that come from simply being
together. It's a promise to share both glad and sad
times. A promise to think of each other fondly
whether near or far apart friendship is a
promise spoken only by the heart. A promise
that is always kept by love I'm so glad we share
a friendship that's so very very very special.

I'd rather one should walk with me then merely show the way
The eye is a better pupil, and more willing then ear
Fine counsel is confusing, but example is always clear
The best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds
For to see good in action is what everybody needs
I can soon learn how to do it if you let me see it done
I can watch your hand in action; your tongue too fast may run
The lectures you deliver may be wise and true
But I'd rather get my lesson by observing what you do
I may misunderstand how you act and how you live

all though my body to the gristle
I can feel its warm embrace
As my mind and body it does trace
It wraps around me like a million bows
From my head down to my toes
As it is flowing through the sky
I can see its beauty in my mind's eye
The longer I feel the wind flow
The greater my loves does grow

Looks over his shoulder, is death near
Drug dealers, driver-bys, hikers on crack
Will they die by knife or a bullet in the back?
Gangs wearing bandanas of red or blue
Dying over which block belongs to who
Gangsters protection everyone pays
In the city of fear you live day by day
Little children hide behind doors locked tight
Listening to screams and shots in the night
young man in red crossed the line
shots ring out of another mans nine
As he lay dieing in a pool of blood on the street
He saw the tears on his mothers cheek
Young man in a city of fear
Looks over his shoulder-is death near?
Look no longer for death is here

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